


A Quick One, While They're Still Here

by itsnicsalad



Category: BoJack Horseman
Genre: Gen, hopefully, is princess carolyn's section longer than the others?, ive been going around seeing what everyone else puts in their tags, most of the time its just a buncha waffle, so i think im fine, yes indeed, you can thank my undying bias towards pc for that :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27540280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsnicsalad/pseuds/itsnicsalad
Summary: “You absolute, goddamn son of a bitch.”The words hit him like a ton of bricks, which was evident when BoJack’s ears pinned back while avoiding the face on the other side of the glass.Yep, should’ve seen that coming.
Kudos: 13





	A Quick One, While They're Still Here

**Author's Note:**

> i couldnt come up with a better title sorry

“You absolute, goddamn son of a bitch.”  
The words hit him like a ton of bricks, which was evident when BoJack’s ears pinned back while avoiding the face on the other side of the glass.  
 _Yep, should’ve seen that coming._  
He heard a soft sigh come through the receiver, and he tentatively peered up, but instead of a terrifying glare, he was met with a soft yet tired gaze.  
“I, I’m glad you came, Princess Carolyn.”  
“You’d better be,” Princess Carolyn muttered in response, twirling the phone cord around her paws. “You scared me, BoJack.”  
“I know.”  
Quiet wasn’t something you’d usually get in the heart of LA, everyone knows this. But it was something BoJack was hoping for just this once while he was on the phone with her. Though he thought he ought to be grateful that his fellow inmates didn’t seem to have any visitors this evening. He had only been in prison for a few days, but to him it felt like it stretched on forever.  
“Do you know what I was doing?”  
“What?”  
Princess Carolyn turned slightly in her chair, her elbow propped up on the table. “Do you know what I was doing when I heard about your little accident?”  
“....No.”  
“I was at home. With Ruthie,” she said. “I’d just returned from the office and was looking to relax, but then I turned on the TV. And what did I see?” Her gaze flickered up and saw his expression wracked with guilt. “Breaking News: Actor ‘BoJack Horseman’ Rumoured to be Dead.”  
He opened his mouth to interject, but he figured it wouldn’t be the best time to do so.  
“That was before I found out that you’d survived. But of course I didn’t know that at the time. Not only that, but your whole scandal caused a huge PR crisis that I just wasn’t ready to deal with. Everything was awful.”  
BoJack fiddled with the hem of his bright orange jumpsuit. There was no point in saying sorry, she’d probably brush it off with an “Of course you are” or whatnot. There was no way to make it up to her, or to any of his friends. How could you even do that? How could you ever make up for almost dying?  
Living and carrying on, I guess.  
Princess Carolyn let out a shaky sigh, shifting in her seat. “Look, all that matters is that you’re ok now. You’re alive. The media is still buzzing, and I doubt it’s gonna die down anytime soon. But it’s all gonna be fine. At least, I have to believe that it’s gonna be fine.”  
“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”  
The sun had started to dip below the horizon. The visiting room was near empty, apart from the occasional janitor that would enter the room to clean the floors or some other shit. The quiet that BoJack was hoping for earlier manifested itself in the awkward silence between the two, leaving the atmosphere cold and untouched.  
“I uh, I saw you called Diane that night.”  
He stiffened, a lump rising in his throat. “Yeah I, I did. It went to voicemail though, but it was worth a try.”  
“BoJack she’s not here anymore. She’s in Chicago, remember?”  
“I know, I know. It’s just…. I really needed someone to talk to.”  
For a moment, Princess Carolyn looked taken aback. “You could’ve called me, BoJack. I’m still here for you, you know that right?”  
“I mean, yeah. If you’re still bothered to be around me anyway.”  
“It’s my job, stupid,” she chuckled softly, leaning back into her chair. There was something about her laugh that made BoJack’s heart skip a beat. He missed her a lot, and it was nice to hear her happy, even if it was just for a split second.  
“Besides, I…. I still love you, believe it or not.”  
“I do. Believe it, I mean. Though I thought you’d keep me at arm’s length after everything that’s happened,” he joked, crossing his legs.  
Princess Carolyn’s smile faltered, and her gaze fell to the concrete floor. The laughter that had filled the room had evaporated and left behind an unpleasant silence.  
BoJack racked his brain for more things to say to lift some of the sombreness that had plagued the air, but his train of thought kept leading him back to the same point every time.  
 _Say something, BoJack. Say anything goddamnit._  
“So uh, how are things going for you lately?”  
“You mean outside my burning garbage fire of a work life?”  
“Yeah, I was hoping we could catch up a bit, you know, before you leave.”  
A small smile was given before she continued. “Well Ruthie’s still Ruthie, that hasn’t changed. Todd and Maude have been kind enough to watch over her though so Judah and I can go out more.”  
“Oh! Are you guys a thing or….?”  
“Kinda. We’re still tryna work things out, but it’s going really well honestly.”  
BoJack momentarily was somewhat surprised. ‘Really well’ was never a term used when describing Princess Carolyn’s relationships, especially when the two of them dated way back when. Guess things have changed for the better since then.  
“I’m glad you’re with someone who makes you happy, PC. I mean that.”  
“Mmm.”  
A quick glance at her phone, and Princess Carolyn almost fell out of her seat. “Oh fish, I gotta get home. Todd will be waiting for me.” The sound of the metal chair scraping the floor echoed in the vastly empty room.  
“I guess I’ll see you around?” BoJack asked.  
Princess Carolyn offered a brief laugh before rising to her feet. “I guess I will.” BoJack heard a click as the phone was secured back into place, and he watched her barge through the swinging doors. He sat there for a while, phone still in hand, before quietly setting it down on the table and heading back to his cell for the evening.

* * *

“Aw man, when I first heard you were dead, I was like “oh my god, so soon?”  
“Welp, sorry to disappoint.”  
“Disappoint my butt, I’m so glad you’re alive BoJack!”  
“Thanks Todd.”  
The red hoodie and bright yellow beanie were hard to miss in the sea of greys and browns that was the prison visiting room. The air was humid, but then again that was expected for your average midday in summer. BoJack pulled at his collar.  
“I didn’t come all the way out here just to talk about me though,” Todd said, bringing a knee up to his chest. “So what’s up with you? Anyone asking you to join their gangs lately?”  
“Not that I can recall, no.”  
“Lucky you.”  
A persistent buzzing came from his cell phone before Todd pulled it out from his pocket and silenced the noise. “Sorry about that BJ. Business has been booming recently, I just keep getting calls left and right.”  
“....Business?”  
“Yeah! My babysitting business for VIM. Apparently a lot of the workers there don’t wanna have to deal with their kids all day, weird isn’t it? Who doesn’t like kids?”  
“So that’s why I’ve seen you walking around outside with like, 20 kids strapped to leashes. I just assumed you were stringing them into whatever wacky business venture you and Maude came up with.”  
“I mean, technically yeah, that’s exactly what happened.”  
He slapped his forehead. “Arggh, I just said I wouldn’t talk about me while I’m here! Sorry BoJack.”  
“No no no, it’s fine,” he replied, waving his hand as if backhanding his words. “I…. actually like hearing you talk.”  
Todd raised an eyebrow. “Woah, really?”  
A small nod was given. It felt relieving to BoJack that he could say with certainty he enjoyed listening to his friend ramble. A mere year or two ago he would’ve disregarded his stories as ‘unimportant’ or ‘stupid and pointless’. He cringed, it wasn’t a great time to look back on.  
He cleared his throat. "I know I haven't been a good friend to you these past few years, and I don't think I've ever apologised for that. And I just want to make it clear that I'm sorry, Todd."  
Todd clicked his tongue. “Everything you did was really shitty BoJack. I know you know. And I know that you’ve changed, hopefully.” His gaze flickered up, eyes soft. “It’s not like we can go back to the way things used to be, but I guess all we can do now is wait and see what happens.” Todd shot a lopsided smile, which BoJack mirrored through the thin glass.  
A shrill sound ripped through the air, and the door burst open to let enter a burly security guard, a silver whistle swinging around his neck.  
“Alright, time’s up!” he yelled, banging a fist on the doorframe, which seemed to shake at the force of his blow. BoJack’s face was etched with annoyance. _Jesus this guy needs to chill._  
“Welp, I guess that’s my cue to go,” Todd said, sliding his feet off the chair and rising to a stand. “This was nice BoJack.”  
“Yeah, it was.”  
It felt a bit selfish for wanting Todd to stay longer, he missed his company dearly. _But he’s his own person. I can’t change that. I know that._  
“Bye BJ!” Todd yelled, waving over his shoulder. And with that, he was gone. The ringing phone noise lingered in BoJack’s ears.

* * *

“Mr Peanutbutter and BoJack Horseman in the same visiting room? What is this, a crossover episode?”  
BoJack sighed. Not in exasperation, but in acceptance. Mr Peanutbutter’s seemingly endless positivity was a stark contrast to BoJack’s self-pitying mindset, which was welcoming to say the least. Like a ball of yellow light in a sad grey room. Almost quite literally in fact.  
“You’re still doing that dad show right?”  
“Oh, Birthday Dad! Well of course! It’s going very well so far.” Mr Peanutbutter grinned, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. “If only you weren’t in jail BoJack, you could come back on my show as a guest star again! Last time was so much fun!”  
BoJack took a sharp breath. “I- don’t think that’ll happen again anytime soon, but uh, thanks for the offer.”  
In some ways, it felt easier to talk to him than Todd or Princess Carolyn. Not to say that the two weren’t friends, BoJack had started to become more tolerant of his mannerisms and antics since his time in Pastiches and Connecticut. Mr Peanutbutter even visited him in rehab at some point, though whether or not that went well was up for interpretation. But even then BoJack knew that he didn’t know him as well as the others. And for that he was glad to some extent. Mr Peanutbutter didn’t seem like the type to dig in too deep, which meant he was able to keep all his demons at arm’s length without being probed, something that could never happen with his other friends. It was sad, but comforting.  
“How long are you staying here?”  
“14 months pretty sure.”  
“Little over a year, wow. What are you in for?”  
BoJack opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He could’ve just told him the easy answer; breaking and entering, but it felt wrong to say just that. After all, he believed that his sentence was a punishment for every shitty thing he did, at the very least contributing to Sarah Lynn’s death. But Mr Peanutbutter didn’t know that, and he didn’t want to ruin what they had. He sighed.  
“We don’t have to talk about it if you’re not comfortable with it,” Mr Peanutbutter said, his eyes piercing BoJack’s own. “Probably shouldn’t have asked in the first place.”  
“Maybe some other time, the next time you visit?”  
“I’ll try my best to come, but you know…. scheduling with Birthday Dad shootings and all that. God I have so much on my plate!”  
“Yeah I get it.”  
Mr Peanutbutter raised his hand as if to bring up another point, when his ears suddenly pricked up and he turned to his right.  
“Erica! What are you doing here?”  
BoJack craned his neck to peer in the direction Mr Peanutbutter was staring, but all he saw was a blank wall with peeling paint. He wrinkled his eyebrows.  
The lab spun to face BoJack once again. “I’m suuuuper sorry BoJack, I gotta go. Can’t leave Erica alone in a prison for too long, you know how she is.”  
He shot a confused look that Mr Peanutbutter didn’t seem to catch. “Promise I’ll be back again, I'll miss you buddy!”  
“Miss you too.”  
He turned back around and started heading towards the door right as a security guard strolled in, who looked on in bewilderment as Mr Peanutbutter’s loud and booming voice echoed down the hall behind him.  
"Should I….?"  
“You should probably keep an eye on him,” BoJack muttered.

* * *

The scrunched ball of paper hit the floor with a soft thud.  
“Goddamnit no, that’s not right….”  
BoJack sat hunched over the mahogany table, furiously scribbling on a new piece of paper. The table lamp shining upon him made him sweat. The ballpoint pen gripped tightly in his hand was shaking with each word.

HEY DIANE,  
THIS IS BOJACK WRITING TO YOU. HORSEMAN, OBVIOUSLY.  
HOW’S LIFE GOING IN CHICAGO? BET YOU’RE HAVING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE WITH YOUR NEW FRIENDS AND UH, WHATEVER ELSE YOU’RE DOING UP THERE. HOW’S IT GOI

“Jesus, you already asked her that.”  
He groaned, leaning back in the rickety chair. “Can’t get this right. Why is this so hard? Wh- shit!”  
His sentence was cut off as the chair legs snapped and he landed back first onto the concrete floor. He couldn’t see anything but black, as if a wave of tar had washed over him.  
“Ayo, you coming or what?”  
A few seconds of coming around from the collision, and BoJack could make out a large figure looming over him. He glared down on the horse with a look of chagrin on his face.  
“Nice to see you looking out for me Andy. What brings you here?”  
"It’s Big Andy dumbass. And I was popping in to see if you were coming to watch The Family Stone with the rest of the gang. But you can stay here if you’re gonna whine like a little bitch all night."  
"Right," BoJack mumbled, pushing himself off the ground and brushing at the dirt on his shirt. "How could I possibly forget about that?"  
He turned to see Big Andy standing over the table, the paper clasped in his large hands. "The hell is this stupid piece of shit? You writing to your girlfriend or something?"  
"Friend," he hissed, yanking at the letter. "And guess what? This ‘stupid piece of shit’ is none of your business. So just please, leave me alone."  
"Oof, someone's feisty," Big Andy snickered, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. "Sounds like important stuff. Why don't you tell me? Don't be shy Horseman."  
BoJack stiffened. He knew better than to go against Big Andy’s wishes, his goons alone could beat him to a pulp. He sighed.  
“I- my friend, she means a lot to me, and I let her down. And.... I don’t know how to make up for it.”  
An eyebrow was raised. “What didya do?”  
“A lot of things really, it’s hard to pick just one thing.”  
“You sound like a shitty friend.”  
“Not the first time I’ve heard that unsurprisingly,” BoJack exhaled, chucking the paper at the table. It missed and fluttered to the floor like a dead leaf.  
“How long have you known her?”  
“Couple years. She’s seen me through a lot of my worst.”  
“And she still puts up with you?”  
“God, I don’t know.” He sank to the floor. “Last time I saw her we were in Connecticut. She- we… didn’t end on good terms. I never saw her again before she flew back to Chicago. She probably hates me.”  
 _Not that she didn't before I don’t think. God I hope she doesn’t._  
“Then what’s the point of sending a letter?”  
“Huh?”  
Big Andy strolled towards the door. “You’d think if she hates you or whatever she’d want to stay away from you as far as possible, no?”  
BoJack’s minded flickered, and for a moment he was back on the porch of that stupid party, reading Hollyhock’s letter. “I guess….”  
“Listen, I ain’t good with this kinda shit, you know? This is all on you Horseman.”  
“You’re the one who asked me-”  
“Whatever. Hope it all works out or something. I’m out.”  
With a flick of his wrist, the door slammed shut behind him, and BoJack was left sitting on the floor. The desk lamp started to blink as the sound of rain softly tapping on the roof grew louder.  
He found tears in the corners of his eyes as he rested his head in his hands. His shoulders heaved as he glanced over at the paper on the ground.  
It felt stupid, longing for someone who wanted to keep their distance. Besides, it wouldn’t be wise to write a letter to Diane right after the news broke out.  
 _Maybe tomorrow, not tonight._  
He longed to crawl into his bed, but his body ignored his pleas and instead BoJack slumped sideways onto the floor. His arms cushioned his head as he lay there, the thoughts in his mind settling to a halt like freezing particles. He could hear the movie loudly starting up through the cold walls of the room.


End file.
